There’s just no way around it-  marriage is hard.  Even the best of marriages have difficulties when life’s circumstances and stressors come their way.  But one thing is certain-  every relationship has the potential to improve if both partners are willing to be open and try new things with their spouse, no matter what they come into counseling with:

• poor communication
• stress and disagreements about parenting
• infidelity and deception
• loss of love and affection
• persistent conflict/ impasses

When working with couples, I make it clear that I won’t take sides.  Each person’s perspective is valid and important, even if one partner is more expressive or emotional than the other.  I draw from various theories when approaching counseling with couples, including the Gottman method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).  When meeting with couples I:

• hear from each party about their presenting complaint
• work to identify the negative cycle that couples often find themselves in, avoiding blame and focusing on the pattern that emerges
• work to change positions within that negative cycle, try something new to change the pattern and the outcome
• move from gridlock to dialogue on those tough, pervasive issues that keep coming up for the couple
• focus on a secure attachment bond between spouses, with friendship as the bedrock
• teach and practice new ways of communicating and relating to one another

I believe in each couple’s ability to grow and change, no matter what they’re facing or how long the problems have gone on.  There’s no relationship more worthwhile of effort and attention, and improving their marriage can change the quality of the couple’s lives, along with their whole family.